ShadedViolets (Revamped)
by Sutoomu
Summary: After twenty plus years of living as a pair, Duo must now learn to live without Solo at his side. This adjustment is the biggest challenge Duo has ever faced, and he runs away to escape the memories. But can Duo ever return after betraying everyone and vanishing, right when he was needed most? Will they understand that he had to do it on his own? Will Heero ever forgive him?
1. Halos & Reaper

SHADEDVIOLETS : Prologue

Written By: Sutoomu

© 2014

Foreword: Hello, my name is Sutoomu, and I have been writing Gundam Wing fanfiction since I was about fourteen, so, nine years now. I love the 'feels' I get from anime, and I also adore cosplay and the community around it. This is one of my more serious ideas, and the action happens pretty fast in the beginning of this fic. It does involve an original character, but the story is not focused solely on him. Duo Maxwell is the main character in this 'feels' fic.

Warning: AU, Yaoi / Shounen-Ai, Emotional Angst

Scene 1: Halos

"C'mon, 'Ro, that's bullshit, you can skip one night," Duo Maxwell chattered away on his cell phone animatedly. "It's me! You're seriously gonna deny a night with me to go to a première? You hate wearing suits! And she'll make you wear a tie! She always does! It's so she can strangle the life out of ya, 'Ro!"

Duo glanced over at his brother, who was chuckling at the conversation. Solo was currently driving them home after a very long and tedious meeting about their upcoming tour, which started in three weeks. It seemed lately that the meetings were endless, and this one had gone longer than expected. Both of them were glad to be going home finally, as it was already nearly midnight. It would only be a short while now before Solo would be climbing into bed with his wife and baby daughter, and Duo would be climbing into bed with Heero Yuy, his band-mate and occasional lover.

At least, this was what Duo hoped, if he could convince Heero to leave his ex-wife and her première. So far, it wasn't going well. Heero was getting more and more immune to Duo's pleading every time.

"What is this première even for?" Duo asked, exhaling in frustration at how stubborn Heero was being. He paused as Heero answered. "Perfume? Seriously? You're going to refuse me to go to a perfume party with Relena? Heero, c'mon! Stop torturing yourself! You know that if you go to this thing you're going to have to stand around drinking light champagne for hours on end while you listen to everyone blabbing on and on about how 'Lena's tenth generic perfume is 'the perfect blend of aromas'. Do you really want to do that to yourself?" Duo paused as Heero spoke again, rolling his eyes at Solo to express his impatience.

"Damn, poor Duo is gettin' refused! How could this happen?" Solo mocked Duo's manner, getting a side shot with a fist to the shoulder for it. Solo laughed at the ease of teasing Duo, who lived his life as a tease to others. "Relena must have a gun to his head on the other line. Keep tryin', Duo." Solo laughed some more.

"You know you want to come over and spend the night with me," Duo ignored Solo's antics as he continued to push with Heero. "Well, then she can deal with me...what? No, she would not win. I'm Duo. I always win." Pause. "She would not...c'mon, Heero, I don't think Relena hates me that much. We're frenemies." Pause. Then Duo suddenly exclaimed. "I did not make you guys divorce!"

Solo burst out laughing again at this as they turned onto the road that led home. "I wish I was recording this," he grinned.

"The 'other woman'? I was not the other woman! Relena was the one who was all crazy when you were married!" Duo defended himself loudly. "She broke into my house!" Pause, then an exasperated huff. "Fine. I just thought she was over it." Duo put a hand on the dash as Solo came to a stop for a red light. It turned green in the next second. "I didn't think she hated me still." Duo looked over to Solo as they pulled forward. "Hey, ya think Relena hates me?"

Duo's eyes widened as Solo looked over to answer, a halo of light suddenly flaring up around his brother. "SOLO!" Duo shouted his brother's name as he realized what was coming.

Time seemed to slow for Duo. The light flashed a brilliant white before there was the thundering smash of glass shattering and horrendous crunch of metal on metal, the truck colliding directly with the driver's side of the mercedes. The impact slammed Duo forcefully against his seat belt, viciously taking his breath away as the two vehicles slid violently across the intersection. Sparks flashed and the screech of metal on pavement resounded in Duo's ears before the tail of the car on Duo's side clipped a pole, sending it spinning suddenly in the other direction. This slammed Duo against his door as glass shattered across his face, the window imploding inwards from the impact. He felt pain and then weightlessness as the car flipped into the air. It landed on the roof with a sickening crunch, and then Duo's world went black, the car skidding to a smoky stop off the side of the road. Silence reigned as the crash ended.

But for one voice, desperately calling out into a cell phone on the other side of town. "Duo? Duo, answer me! DUO!"

Scene 2: Reaper

Note: (...) is words spoken through a cellphone

( Duo! Duo, are you there? Duo, answer me, damnit! DUO! )

Duo woke up to Heero yelling at him. That seemed normal, as did the dreadful pounding in his head, but the heavy pain in his chest and side wasn't. Was he hungover? What was going on? Duo he felt like he was in pain everywhere, especially his right arm. He couldn't remember anything...

Duo opened his eyes and saw a red blur. He shifted, inhaling sharply at the wave of pain it sent through him. He took a moment tried again, moving his left arm to wipe away the warm liquid coursing down his face. Duo looked at his hand, his vision focusing enough to see that it was covered in blood. He looked beyond his hands and focused on the shards of shattered glass coating the ground below him.

"What the...," Duo inhaled sharply as the memory of the headlights came back to him suddenly, and the terrifying sound as the truck had collided with their car. Duo began to shake as shock set in. He realized he was hanging upside down, still held in by his seatbelt, the roof a crumpled mess beneath him. His door was crushed inwards and the thick scent of smoke and gasoline coated the air. The car was a mess around him, a twisted monster of metal. Duo could hear Heero's muffled voice calling his name through the cell phone he'd been talking on, the call still connected.

And then Duo saw Solo and his instincts reacted. "Solo! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Duo's bloody hand fumbled and slipped at the seatbelt as he unlatched it in a sudden panic, fearing the worst. The release dropped him onto his shoulder, and the pain that shot through his right side was excruciating, making Duo shout out curses. He had definitely broken his right arm in the crash, as he couldn't even try to move it without pain shooting along like wildfire. He spared no time to rest his injuries, his fear for Solo overwhelming anything else.

The truck had hit Solo's door straight on at full speed. The impact had crushed the entire frame of the car inwards severely, and all Duo could see of his brother was his torso, head, and right arm. The rest of Solo was swallowed by the dash and door, crushed inwards viciously, consuming him. A thick gash across Solo's forehead was bleeding heavily, flowing over his closed eyes and dripping to the car roof beneath his skull. Duo saw blood all over his brother. It was literally everywhere. So much blood...

"Solo! Solo, please... please!" Duo begged out loud as he reached for Solo's neck with his uninjured arm, desperately trying to find a pulse. Time seemed to slow, to freeze as Duo pleaded silently with all the gods he knew that he would find a pulse. And as the seconds slowed to feel like an eternity, Duo felt like his heart was being crushed under an unbearable weight, an ache so great forming in his core. He was holding his breath, holding so still as he waited to feel the flutter beneath his fingertips, the faint beat of a heart, the bare hope that Solo was alive...but there was nothing. After a long moment, Duo finally swallowed, the reality digging its way inside his heart cruelly as he pulled his fingers away. He began to breathe fitfully, his chest aching as the truth dawned on him.

Solo was dead. His brother was dead. His heart had stopped and his blood was everywhere. Solo was dead, gone forever...

Duo suddenly felt a wave of anger wash over him, drowning his soul. "No, damnit! This isn't...Solo...this isn't fuckin' happening!" Duo screamed his anger, denying what was so obviously visible in front of him. "You can't die! You can't fucking die!" Duo tried again. He pushed against Solo's wounds to try to stop the bleeding. He pried and pulled at the metal pinning his brother's body down, clawing until his hand was sliced open. He shook Solo, begging his brother to wake up, to respond in any way. But Solo was dead, and as the minutes passed and Duo still could find no pulse, he truly fell apart.

"Damnit, I need you, you can't...Solo! " Duo broke into sobs, covering his eyes with his blood covered hand to erase the sight of Solo's lifeless face. But it burned like an imprint under his eyelids. Blood and more blood. Blood everywhere. "Please, please, please...," he wept brutally as he collapsed on his uninjured side, his heart and soul and very existence crumbling inside him. Duo had never been without his brother, Solo. This wasn't supposed to happen. Solo wasn't supposed to be like this, growing cold as his blood drained from his corpse. But that was all he was, now. A corpse.

Solo was gone forever.

And Duo had never before so desperately wished that it was him instead.

( Duo, answer me, please! Duo! )

Heero's voice broke through Duo's grief. Raking his left hand through the glass and debris, Duo found his cell phone. The screen was cracked but it was still working and connected, amazingly. Duo tried to wipe the blood off, shaking terribly. He put the phone to his ear, his body still torn with deep sobs.

"H-heero," Duo reached for the only lifeline he had. He tried to stop his sobs to breathe, to speak. His words came out broken. "Solo...Solo's dead, 'Ro. He...he's dead. Blood...blood's everywhere...I can't breathe," Duo grabbed at his chest, where the ache was too deep and too much. "I can't...he's fucking dead..." Duo broke down into a wail, an almost inhuman cry of grief and sorrow. He clutched at the phone with a white knuckled grip, pleading and pleading for the nightmare to end.

( Duo, you have to listen to me. I need you to breathe, ) Heero spoke to Duo finally after a moment of silence from his end, his voice strong and calm. Heero was always strong, always in control, unlike Duo. He tried to focus on Heero's voice as his grief drowned him. ( Are you hurt? Tell me if you're hurt, Duo. )

"Yeah," Duo answered obediently, his voice breaking to breathe as he trembled. "I think...I think I broke my arm...an' some ribs. My right side hurts. There's a lot o' blood, 'Ro..." Duo's voice wavered, his focus fading.

( Just do what I say, Duo, ) Heero ordered sharply. ( Can you get out of the car? I need you to try and get out, now. )

Duo looked over at his door. The metal was mashed in like some sort of sick modern art piece. "No, I can't...the car's upside down. I can't get out."

( Okay, tell me where you were when you crashed. I'll come to you, Duo, ) Heero continued quickly, distracting Duo's momentary thought process. ( Where are you? )

"I...I think it's...we were on Valley Drive," Duo recalled the turn onto their road, and the stop light. His breathing became quick and rapid as the memory flashed in his mind again. "I-It was a truck 'Ro. It drove right through the fucking stop light an' hit Solo's side."

( What intersection? )

Duo tried to think back to how far they'd gone down Valley Drive. Was it one, or two lights? Duo felt that it had been so quick, it had to be the first intersection after their turn. "Cherry. It's Cherry Street." Which meant that home was only four streets away. They had been less than two minutes away, where Hilde was waiting with baby Cadence, unaware that her husband was dead at this very moment. Duo's fist clenched unconsciously as he thought of Hilde, and the poor kids. The pain in his heart grew.

( Do you hear sirens? Heero continued asking questions. I need to know if there's an ambulance coming. )

Duo replied quickly to this one. "Yeah, I can hear them." The sound was faint, but growing, the wail piercing the calm night air.

( Okay, I'm going to keep you on the line, Duo, ) Heero explained. Duo heard the sound of an engine starting. ( Don't let the call end. I'm coming to you right now. I'll be five minutes. Just keep talking to me. Stay with me. )


	2. Rescue

SHADEDVIOLETS : Prologue

Written By: Sutoomu

© 2014

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing in any way, shape, or form. This fanfiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only.

Warning: AU, Shounen Ai/Yaoi, Emotional Angst, Strong Language

Scene 3: Rescue

Heero's heart beat rapidly in his chest as he pulled out of his driveway, heading for Duo. He felt shocked by what was happening. This call had started with Heero refusing to meet Duo and now, only fifteen minutes later, he was racing to Duo's side. Solo was dead, and Duo was trapped in a car and injured. Since the moment Heero had first heard Duo scream his brother's name and the sound of the crash, he'd felt like he was listening to a nightmare unfold.

Duo's cries to Solo had been terrifying. Heero had never heard such anguish or mournful rage from anyone before in his life. If Solo was dead, then Heero understood why Duo was so torn. The two were closer than anyone Heero knew, with such a deep bond for such a long time. Even though they weren't blood related, they had been brothers forever. It was obvious to anyone who saw them together that they were the closest of friends. But Heero knew that Duo had always been dependant on Solo, and he feared what was going to happen from now on. Solo was the solid rock for everyone, especially Duo. Heero was afraid for Duo. He was afraid Duo wouldn't last without Solo.

And so when Duo had finally grabbed the phone and told Heero about Solo, he decided to push down his own shock and his own pain and focus his efforts towards helping Duo survive this. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. He did his best to distract Duo, even for bare moments, with questions and orders and things that had Duo thinking to answer. But Duo's voice had such sorrow and loss in it as he answered, and he wept between answers.

"Duo, are you bleeding anywhere? You said you broke your ribs and arm," Heero asked more about his injuries as he drove, unconsciously speeding in his urgency to get to Duo. "Is there anything else?"

( I...no, I think I'm okay...my face is a bit cut up, ) Duo's voice trembled as he answered, his breathing erratic. ( It's just...just my right side...Heero, why is this happening? ) Duo suddenly exclaimed, crying out in grief. ( It isn't fair! He didn't deserve this! I don't deserve this. Hilde and the kids don't fuckin' deserve this! How can I tell the boys that their dad is dead?! And Cadee...she's only six months old! She's never gonna know her daddy! It's over, it's all fucking over! )

"Duo, it is not over," Heero answered sharply. "You're right, this isn't fair and it's bullshit. But you are alive, and you can't give up on that. Hilde and the kids will need you. You'll need them! It's going to be hard as hell to survive this, Duo, but you have to. For everyone's sake, you can't give up!" Heero ended his rant, breathing a tad quickly from his exertion. It felt unusual to use so much passion when speaking. Heero was usually very reserved and controlled, but he had felt very lost just now. "Duo," Heero continued as Duo was silent. His voice was a bit more steady now, his emotions leashed in. "I need you, okay? I need you."

There was more silence from Duo's end. ( I know, 'Ro, ) Duo finally exhaled shakily. Though he agreed with Heero, his voice was still helpless, sorrowed and lost. ( But...I don't think I can do it...I can't. Not without him... )

"You can, Duo," Heero urged him, encouraging strength. "You can do it, and you will do it, I promise. It might not be right away, or easy, but you can do it. You're stronger than you think, Duo."

Duo began to whimper, his fears taking over him. ( I don't wanna be in here anymore, 'Ro...he's dead an' his blood is everywhere an' I can't get out... )

"We'll get you out of there, Duo. I'm going to be there in less than a minute. Just hold on." Heero turned onto Valley Drive. He could see smoke in the air ahead and hear the sirens wailing clearly.

( Yeah, ) Duo answered. ( I'm just so fuckin' tired of it...hey, somebody's here. They're bangin' on the door. Hey! )

Heero heard Duo begin to shout and yell, and a pounding noise, which was likely Duo kicking or hitting the door back. He let Duo focus on that effort as he pulled up to the scene.

It was a brutal sight. Heero pulled to the side and parked, as he couldn't get his car any closer, the street filled with emergency vehicles. Yellow tape was being put up to keep the growing crowd at a distance as medics and first responders rushed about. The crash site took up the entire intersection. Heero saw the truck that hit them first, a chunk of black, burning metal. Firemen were working on dousing the flames and containing the fire, but it was obvious from the visual damage that the driver of the truck didn't survive. Heero ran up closer and looked around.

Then he saw it. The car was on its hood off the side of the road, the driver side door crushed inwards in a twisted mess. A collection of firemen and paramedics were gathered about the opposite side of the door, the passenger side. Heero could hear Duo shouting at them to get him the hell out, his tone rising under the strain. A sick feeling filled Heero's stomach as he realized that Solo was inside that twisted frame of metal, crushed to death by his own car, the very car that he and Duo had spent so much time working on. Worse, Duo was inside, too, trapped with his dead brother. Heero once again wondered how the fuck this was happening.

Heero ducked under the yellow tape, dodging an officer before another stepped up to stop him. "I'm his friend, I know who's in the car," he explained quickly. "I have him on the phone."

"Excuse me, sir?" Officer Layton, as his nametag informed, was confused. Heero clarified that he had the victim of the accident on his phone. Layton was quick to secure the phone as soon as Heero explained it to him, bringing it to the rescue workers, who took over the communication as they worked to cut Duo out of the car. Heero, now lacking his connection to Duo, stepped out of the way of the rescue workers and ran his hands anxiously through his messy hair, waiting for them to get Duo out.

Another officer approached him, this one named Tombes. It seemed ominously fitting for the situation. "Sir, I am told you know the victims? May I get your name?"

Heero nodded. "It's Heero Yuy." His thoughts were raging inside his mind, thoughts of the mess that was happening, and how hard it would be to fix it. If it could be fixed… "He's dead, isn't he?" Heero asked, needing to hear it. He had to hear it confirmed. It felt so hard to believe. Maybe this was somehow a nightmare, and Duo's mournful cries had been imagined.

"The driver did not make it," Officer Tombes confirmed, bursting the last hope. "The passenger is alive, but he is trapped at the moment. We won't know his condition until we get him out. I need their names, if you could, Mr. Yuy," Tombes requested somberly. "I need to inform the families."

Heero felt faint for a moment, the world spinning a little. He leaned on the side of the police cruiser he stood near, answering the officer's questions as the brutal reality struck him fully. "Solo…the one who died is Solo Maxwell. His brother is the passenger, Duo Maxwell," Heero managed to explain. "Solo has a wife, Hilde." Thoughts of a widowless Hilde struck Heero. She would be crushed, and then there was the children to consider. "Sir, if it's alright with you, could I be the one to tell her?"

Tombes seemed to be a touch relieved. "That may be best, sir."

"How long until they get him out of there?" Heero asked, looking back to the metal wreck. He already missed Duo's voice. It was hard to not feel worried about him, considering he was trapped in a destroyed car and Solo was now dead. Heero needed to see Duo alive and well before he could chance a moment to breathe.

"A few moments," he pointed to a waiting ambulance. "You can wait there for him. Just don't get in the way, please. I'll get you a phone to make the call." Heero went as directed and soon had another cell phone. Instead of dialing Hilde immediately, he dialed up a different number. The phone had to ring quite a few times before it was finally answered.

(Hello, what is it?) Quatre's voice sounded on Trowa's phone, with a hint of annoyance lacing it.

"Quatre, it's Heero."

(Damnit, Heero, what do you want this late? I am literally naked right now, so this better be damn good. Why are you calling me?)

Heero hesitated, then sighed a bit. "There's no easy way to tell you this, Quatre."

(Tell me what?) Quatre sighed in exasperation. Obviously, he and Trowa were in the middle of something. Heero was glad that Trowa was with him. Quatre was more of a sensitive soul. This was going to be brutal for him, but Trowa would be strong. Trowa could help Quatre, and he could help Hilde, too.

Heero certainly couldn't.

"Solo's dead," he replied. There was a following silence, then some shifting.

(Heero, are you trying to pull a joke?) Quatre asked. (Because, if so, you're sucking at it like usual.)

"I wish I was. There's been an accident, Quatre. A truck hit the Mercedes as they were driving home and totaled it. Duo is injured and trapped right now…..Solo didn't make it, Quatre," Heero revealed the dark truth of the moment, and Quatre's gasp was very audible. More silence followed, then Quatre came back, his tone much more weak.

(Are you sure he's gone?)

(Who is?) Heero heard Trowa inquiring about the conversation. (What's going on?)

"Yes, he's gone," Heero confirmed for Quatre, looking grimly back at the busy cluster of rescue workers by the car. They had a stretcher near, the paramedics ready.

(Trowa, Heero says Solo is dead!) Quatre burst out to his companion, forgetting Heero in his sudden grief.

(What?) There was some rustling and then Trowa had the phone. (Heero, what's going on? What happened to Solo?)

Heero gave Trowa the same quick summary as Quatre, then explained how he was at the scene, waiting for Duo to be removed from the car. Then Heero asked a favor of Trowa. "I need you and Quatre to go to Hilde and tell her. She's not going to sleep tonight, obviously, and someone has to be there for her. Quatre can comfort her. And you'll have to comfort Quatre. Bring Catherine with you to help with the kids."

Trowa readily agreed. (We'll take care of her. Call us as soon as you know how Duo is, and which hospital he goes to. Hilde may want to see him.)

Heero agreed and hung up. Without pause, he dialed a new number. Unlike Quatre, Wufei picked up on the first ring. Heero knew he would be in the middle of a meditation cycle about now.

(Chang,) came his answer.

"Wufei, Solo is dead," Heero cut to the chase with Wufei.

(I…what?) Wufei requested further clarification. (What did you just say?)

Heero explained about the accident, Solo's death, and Duo's condition. "I think the firemen are close to getting him out now," he finished. "How soon can you get here? It's the intersection of Valley Drive and Cherry Street."

(I'll be less than ten minutes,) Wufei answered, and Heero could already hear him moving to get his jacket. (Call me if anything develops.)

Heero hung up and exhaled, forcing himself not to rub at his hair in worry as he waited by the ambulance. Officer Tombes retrieved the phone a moment after and Heero looked at the crowd that had gathered. It was already quite large. In the star studded city of Haven, everything became big news in a matter of minutes. Even now, Heero could see four different news vans parked in hopes of getting a good scene, and a group of paparazzi had stopped by for the action, too.

Heero cursed under his breath as he observed the paparazzi, a pack of feral dogs, waiting to pounce on a celebrity, regardless of their human rights. Once they found out that Solo Maxwell was dead and the victim being rescued was Duo Maxwell, the tabloids would go crazy.

A cheer went up and Heero looked back to the totaled car. He breathed a moment of relief as he saw Duo emerge, the firemen passing him to the waiting paramedics and the stretcher. Heero dashed forward and met the stretcher, following it and speaking to Duo.

"Duo," he spoke. "Duo, it's Heero. I'm here with you."

"Heero," Duo's voice was muffled beneath an oxygen mask. His face was bloody, and Heero specifically noticed the telltale streaks of tears down his cheeks. In fact, the tears were still coming, though Duo was not weeping audibly. "Solo's dead, Heero. Solo's dead."

"We're going to take care of you, Duo," Heero spoke, unsure how to answer that statement. "It's going to be okay."

"No…no, it's not," Duo slowly shook his head. More tears fell. "Solo's dead. It's never going to be okay again…"

Please review if you have enjoyed it.


	3. Recovery

SHADEDVIOLETS : Prologue

Written By: Sutoomu

© 2014

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing in any way, shape, or form. This fanfiction has been written for entertainment purposes only.

Warning: AU, Shounen Ai/Yaoi, Emotional Angst, Trauma, Strong Language

To answer a question, there is an on-again, off-again relationship between Duo and Heero. It will be further explained in later chapters. Trowa and Quatre are a permanent couple.

Scene 4: Recovery

Heero was forced to step back out of the way as Duo was loaded into the stretcher, the doors closing shut after him. He was told that Duo was being brought to Mercy Grace Hospital and given his phone back. Heero quickly made his way back past the yellow tape, slipping through the crowd and running towards his car. He heard his name being called after him as someone recognized him. Then Heero cursed as he saw three paparazzi standing by his car. He did his best to just get into the car as fast as possible. Their cameras illuminated the night with flashes and their voices badgered at him like angry chipmunks. Heero hit his car horn a few times to clear up the road and managed to pull away eventually, feeling frustrated that it had taken this long already.

Heero drove as fast as he could get away with. Heero redirected Wufei to Mercy Grace. When he finally made it to the emergency doors, he found Wufei waiting for him there.

"Heero," Wufei nodded at him. "I just got here. Is this real? You weren't fucking around when you said...?"

"He's gone," Heero nodded somberly. "Solo is dead. But Duo is alive." That fact was Heero's lifeline right now. He would mourn for Solo. They all would, for a long time. But all Heero could think of at the moment was 'Duo's alive', and it kept him from collapsing at the stress of this moment.

Damnit, it was a stressing moment, indeed.

Wufei cursed in his first language. "I can't believe this. He called me two fucking hours ago, and now he's dead? This makes no fucking sense!"

"We have to hold it together for Duo," Heero insisted to Wufei, who quickly nodded in agreement. Entering, Heero encountered a nurse and asked her about Duo. She directed him to inquire at the desk, which informed them they would inquire. They stood for a few minutes waiting until another nurse came over to them.

"You are the ones here for Duo Maxwell?" she inquired. Heero nodded and she continued. "He's in stable condition. He has a few broken ribs and three fractures in his arm. There were multiple lacerations, but nothing too bad. He also fractured his collarbone. They have him in surgery right now to set the bone. He should be awake in a few hours. It will take a few months to heal, but he should be just fine."

"Thank you," Heero exhaled, more relief spreading over him.

"I'll bring you to his room as soon as we have him settled in, gentlemen. In the meantime, I'll have someone bring you to the waiting room," she paused for a moment. "I'm sorry for your loss tonight."

Heero and Wufei found the small private waiting room and sank into chairs, both feeling drained in light of the evening's events. After a few moments of quiet silence, Heero grabbed the remote and turned on the television. The local news channel popped up, with the smoking image of the crash scene dominating the screen.

[...a terrible crash at the intersection of Cherry Street and Valley Drive...]

"That's Solo's car?" Wufei inquired quietly, staring at the scene with the shock Heero had felt the first time. Heero nodded. "He's still inside there...?"

Heero nodded again. "This is a live feed."

The cameras panned over to the truck, now a flickering husk of its previous form, as the news reporter reported on the confirmation of the deceased driver. Wufei growled, muttering under his breath. "I'm glad the bastard burned."

[...we have the names of the men involved in the black mercedes. Reports are confirming that the deceased victim is none other than Solo Maxwell, the lead singer of the highly popular band ShadedViolets. Brother Duo Maxwell, the drummer of ShadedViolets, has survived and has been transported to Mercy Grace hospital with non life threatening injuries. This is truly a tragic day in history, as ShadedViolets is two weeks away from the launch of their newest tour. The loss of Solo Maxwell is a devastating blow...]

Heero turned the television off, questioning why he'd bothered to turn it on and watch that in the first place. A heavy silence fell in the small waiting room.

Wufei finally exhaled, breaking the silence. A lone tear had escaped his dark eyes, travelling down his cheek. "I just don't get it...one night we're all drinking and playing poker and the next night we're sitting in the hospital. Solo's dead, Duo's injured. I just don't fucking get it. I mean, how could this happen? Why Solo?" Wufei's voice was full of the ache he felt inside. Heero could hear his anguish welling up, even though he maintained his outward composure rather well. "Now Duo has no brother, we have no bandmate, Hilde has no husband. The kids have no father. Cadence won't even remember him." Wufei paused, closing his eyes. "Why did this happen?"

Heero didn't speak for a moment. The silence felt heavy, like a cloak of sorrow draped over them. "I don't know, Wufei. I don't know."

* * *

Duo had a numb feeling all over. There was pain, too, but it was hovering on the edge of the numbness, at a point where it wasn't bad, just annoying. His head was in a fog, a heaviness weighing on his eyelids. Duo wondered for a moment if he was dead. He remembered the halo of light and the sickening moment when the truck had slammed into their car, sending it flying across the pavement...and then Solo. Dead Solo...

"Duo...Duo, it's Heero..."

Was that Heero still on the phone? Was he still trapped in the remnants of the crushed mercedes? It had been so long in the car already. Solo just kept bleeding and getting colder and colder. How many times had he tried to find the pulse now? Twenty, thirty times? How long had he been stuck in here for? It felt like forever...trapped with Solo, dead Solo...

"...Duo..."

Duo opened his eyes with a start, inhaling sharply. The annoying pain spiked into an actual pain for a moment as he tensed, and then the image of dead Solo faded into the image of a concerned Heero looking down at him. Wufei was standing at the end of the hospital bed Duo was in. A steady beeping of machines surrounded them, monitoring Duo with the dozen tubes and cords hooked up to him.

"Heero," Duo spoke weakly, his throat parched. "Solo's dead." The image of dead Solo still hovered at the back of his mind, not completely gone.

Heero nodded sadly. "Yes, Duo. I'm sorry." He indicated for Wufei to grab the water and straw, helping Duo to soothe his dry throat.

"Solo's dead," Duo repeated, his voice clearer now. He closed his eyes to the bright lights. "An' I'm alive." Duo spoke it like a curse and, at this moment, he felt it was just that. He longed for more numbness, for more morphine. "He was bleedin' and bleedin' an' I couldn't get him out..."

"Duo, don't do this," Wufei spoke gently. "It's not your fault."

"He's dead, Wufei!" Duo broke down, his tears beginning to well up in his eyes. He raised his good hand and covered his eyes as he began to tremble."He's fuckin' dead...I wish it was me! It should have been me! He didn't do anything! He shouldn't be dead!"

"Duo, Solo shouldn't be dead," Wufei tried to offer what little comfort he could. "But neither should you. None of this should have happened. No one deserves this."

Duo simply wept. It hurt so much to think about! Solo was gone, forever! Duo would never see his brother again, after over twenty years of having Solo there. Now Duo was alone. His only family was dead. Solo was dead!

"I want him back!" Duo declared powerlessly, clinging to Heero and sobbing. "I want him back!" Heero embraced Duo as best he could with his injuries, holding Duo as he grieved for his lost brother, his heart rending in pieces. Solo, who would never be again...

* * *

Duo had wept until he fell asleep, though his rest was fitful and uneasy. When he next awoke, the numbness had returned. He lay in the bed, then, staring at the ceiling blankly as he held Heero's hand with a tight grip. Hilde was the one who broke his silence, arriving with her houserobe on from overnight and her hair a mess, Trowa and Quatre in her wake. Her eyes and cheeks were red from crying. The realization of her intense grief struck Duo strongly, and he let go of Heero, holding up his good hand towards her. They said nothing, but Hilde came over and climbed into the bed on Duo's uninjured side. She buried her face in his chest and began to sob. Duo held her, holding his own tears back now as he offered her a comfort he could not feel. His throat clenched in emotion, a painful ache spreading inside, and it wasn't from his injuries.

Hilde had as much right to grieve as Duo. Solo and Hilde had been a couple for nine years and married for seven of them, with three gorgeous children. Now Hilde was a single mother. A widow too soon. Dominoe and Jettrix would never again get to wrestle with their dad, and baby Cadence wouldn't even remember who he was. She was so little, still. She hadn't even learnt to say 'daddy' yet. This wasn't only devastating for Duo, but for Hilde, as well.

Silent tears coursed down Duo's cheeks as he wept for Hilde, this time. It was all so unfair, so cruel! She didn't deserve this! Duo felt a wave of anger, an ache inside for compensation. What right did the fates have to take Solo away? Why did they have to suffer through this?

Duo held in his anger and his overwhelming sorrow out of concern for Hilde. She didn't need the burden of a psychotic breakdown on her hands. Duo had to appear strong for her, even if he felt so weak. She needed less stress and pain now. They all did. Duo had to be strong to all of them now. They would only worry and suffer if they realized the true pain Duo felt and how darkly he raged.

Duo held Hilde as she cried for a long time, until her sobs finally subsided to whimpers, and then to a quiet silence. After a while, Quatre came over, plying Hilde away to go and get some food, despite her weak protests. Wufei and Heero went to grab some much needed coffee and Trowa remained with Duo, sitting quietly beside him.

Duo was very glad that Trowa didn't speak much. For once, he wanted silence.

* * *

There is one more chapter to the Prologue, and then the story will begin. I felt it was vital to introduce Duo's status before we get off into the storyline too much.

Please review or follow if you are enjoying it. Thanks.


	4. Escape

SHADEDVIOLETS : Prologue

Written By: Sutoomu

© 2014

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing in any way, shape, or form. This fanfiction has been written for entertainment purposes only.

Warning: AU, Shounen Ai/Yaoi, Emotional Angst, Trauma, Strong Language

Scene 5: Escape

It had been a week since the crash. Duo had been released from the hospital early so he could attend Solo's funeral. It was a private, small affair, but in Haven City, nothing was truly private, and so a crowd of mourning fans, reporters, and paparazzi had gathered around the block of the cemetery, lining the streets in thick droves. There were so many people that a police presence was required to maintain a perimeter. They cleared a path for Duo, Hilde, and the others through the throng, as cameras flashed away endlessly at them and people yelled. Duo was still very limited in his movements, his injuries in the process of healing and his body still weak, so he couldn't rush along anywhere. Rushing tended to hurt.

It seemed that even death could not sway some paparazzi to have decency.

The funeral felt very long and hard for Duo. He had foregone a eulogy, passing the task on to Quatre, who spoke beautifully of the special person that Solo was. A man who was kind, loyal, a natural leader, and a loving brother, husband, and father. Hilde spoke a little then, her voice breaking in the middle of it. Dominoe began to cry, which quickly led his younger brother, Jettrix, to tears. Uncle Howard held them close while Hilde carried Cadence close, who seemed to sense the sorrow in the place, wearing a small pout of her own. Duo maintained his numb silence through most of it, but when the casket was being lowered into the ground, Duo felt that he couldn't take it anymore. Solo was inside the shiny black coffin, his body so mangled that they couldn't even do an open casket viewing. Hilde was openly weeping, now, with the boys clinging to her legs, watching the last bit of their dad being covered with dirt.

Duo stood up and left. As he walked away from the group, he could feel the gazes following him, wondering and questioning. He kept going, walking to the other side of the cemetery, where it was empty and quieter. He sat down on a large tombstone to rest, his injuries taxing on his strength. The sound of the priest praying over Solo was just a faint sound now.

Solo was dead. Solo was in a coffin, being buried six feet under. Solo was gone forever. Solo was dead...this circle of thought continued in Duo's mind, a terrible, dark loop of sorrow and grief. His dead brother. Duo still didn't want to accept it as true, even though he couldn't avoid it. The loss of Solo was attacking him daily, and nightly, but Duo wanted to believe that something like this couldn't have happened. He still wanted it to be a bad dream. Just a long, tragic dream that he could wake up from, and Solo would be there, showing him the latest idea for a song and demanding Duo fix it.

But everytime Duo thought of Solo, he imagined his bloodied face, upside down and lifeless. Duo could so clearly see Solo's open eyes and the blood that was dripping into the ever expanding pool on the ground beneath him, his body consumed by the twisted metal of the car. Solo was dead and Duo could not escape it.

A shutter click and sudden flash notified Duo to the young man standing about ten feet away. A wave of anger rose in Duo's chest, but he quelled it, being in no condition to have conflict, even with a leeching paparazzi.

Instead, he dryly remarked. "Nice shot, kid. Don't take less than five grand or you're a fucking idiot."

"You were in the car with him," the man asked bluntly. "Was it your fault, or your brothers?"

Duo's anger surged over the wall inside. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He stood up rather quickly, his desire to break this kid's nose overwhelming his earlier caution. The sudden action sent pains hooting down his side. Duo inhaled sharply and went to his knees, holding his side with his unbound arm as he waited for the intensity of the pain to fade.

The camera shutter clicked again.

"Fuck off!" Duo growled, glaring up at him. He was about to say more when Heero suddenly intervened, his fist catching the young paparazzi's jaw hard. The young man fell to the ground. He glowered up at Heero, about to speak, when Heero did first.

"Sue me, I fucking dare you," Heero growled menacingly. The man closed his mouth. Heero Yuy had a violent history with paparazzi, and this guy knew that Heero wouldn't hesitate to kick the shit out of him. "Get your face out of here before I rearrange it for you!"

The paparazzi scrambled to his feet and ran off, camera held close. Despite the encounter with Yuy, he had photos worth a payload, and he knew he was getting off easy. Heero came over to Duo and helped him get to his feet again, sitting him back down on the tombstone.

"I'm sorry about that, Duo," Heero offered his condolence. "You should't have to deal with filth like that."

"Yeah," Duo sighed. "But they're everywhere. Can't fuckin' avoid them in this town."

"Are you alright?" Heero asked, always concerned for Duo. Duo knew Heero was only showing his love for a close friend, but the question had an obvious answer.

"No," Duo answered truthfully. "I'm not okay. Solo's in a box, under a pile of dirt. And those things that pose as human beings are trying to take pictures of it all so they can sell my tragedy for a big paycheque. I'm not okay, 'Ro. I can't be okay. Solo's dead." This time Duo spoke with a resignation in his tone, an acceptance of the inescapable.

"Duo..."

"I was in that car for forty eight minutes, Heero," Duo interrupted quietly. "From the moment we flipped to when the paramedics got me out was forty eight minutes. Solo died on impact. Do you know what that means?" Duo looked up from the ground, his dark violet eyes meeting Heero's. "I was with him for almost fifty minutes, just staring at his corpse. I...I think I tried to find his pulse at least a dozen times. Probably more." Duo swallowed, running his good hand through his hair. "Solo's dead, Heero, and I am not okay. I don't know how to be okay if Solo is dead. I don't know how to live without Solo."

Heero took Duo's hand in his own. "It won't be easy, Duo. In fact, it will be the hardest thing you've ever done. But there is a way to heal, and you will find it. It may take months, it may take years, and it may not ever go away completely, but the pain will get less over time. Solo wouldn't want you to stop living. Right now, you have to keep going. If not for your sake, then for Hilde and the kids. They're going to need you desperately, Duo. So will we, your friends and bandmates."

"Yeah," Duo exhaled. Was that how it was going to be? Did he have to be the one to take care of it all? Solo had always been the one to do that. Duo didn't feel capable of taking over Solo's job. How could he ever do what Solo had done? No, that was just wrong. Solo had to be here. Solo had to do it. It was all wrong without Solo. Everything was just wrong. "Will you come to the reception?" Heero asked him gently.

"No," Duo went to stand, Heero helping him. "Will you take me home, 'Ro?" Heero nodded and helped Duo across the cemetery and past the crowd to the waiting car. The paparazzi never stopped taking pictures until the car was fading out of sight.

Duo didn't talk during the ride, keeping his eyes closed the entire trip. Riding in a car gave him panic attacks inside, and he would clutch at the seatbelt with his good hand until the car finally pulled to a stop at their destination. Even with his eyes closed tightly, he would still see the lights and the smashing glass. He could still hear metal crunching inwards. This time was no different, and he barely kept himself from throwing up once he stepped out of the car again. Hero was at his side instantly, trying to help him fight the invisible demons tearing at him.

Duo recovered himself and Heero helped him inside. "I'll stay with you," Heero offered.

"Yeah," Duo answered vaguely, his attention caught by the latest family photo on the wall. It was from three weeks ago, now. There was Solo and Hilde, as perfect a couple as could ever be, and then Duo sitting in the middle with all the kids piled onto his lap, somehow. Even baby Cadence.

Duo exhaled in sorrow, a knot forming in his throat as he thought of how there would be no more family photos like this. Solo was gone. Duo had never considered a world where Solo wasn't in it. He'd always assumed that the two of them were going to croak of old age at a retirement home together. Duo hadn't ever expected him to be gone at the young age of thirty.

Duo pulled his gaze away. He walked wearily down the hall to the study, seeking rest in his usual chair. But the moment he sat down, he found his eyes settling on the large framed poster of ShadedViolets from two tours ago. Solo was center pose as lead singer, with Duo and the others behind. Duo looked away from the poster, only to find his gaze happening upon Solo's chair, sitting opposite Duo's. Duo closed his eyes and laid his head back, only to find the bloody image of Solo's corpse waiting behind his eyelids.

Duo opened his eyes again and grabbed the remote, turning on the large television screen mounted on the wall. An entertainment report came up, with the main topic being the traumatic crash, of course. Duo hesitated with his instinct to turn it off, listening to the gorgeous Liana Jensen speaking.

[Today the world of entertainment bids farewell to a legend in the music industry,] she began. [Solo Maxwell, known and loved as the lead singer of the immensely popular band, ShadedViolets, passed away last Saturday evening in a fiery collision between a truck and his custom mercedes. His brother, Duo Maxwell, was also in the crash, but was lucky to survive.]

Duo chuckled in his head. Luck? Yeah, sure. It was fucking lucky...

[Solo and Duo Maxwell rose to fame ten years ago when their band, ShadedViolets, opened up for the infamous Zodiac during their fourth tour. From there, their popularity skyrocketed, with five successful tours of their own and eight albums released, five of which reached platinum records. Their eighth album, Shadowmancer, was just released last May, and their sixth tour was to begin next week. The death of Solo Maxwell has put the tour on an indefinite hold, and we are still waiting for an official comment from the band's publicist. Solo Maxwell was laid to rest today at Vitez Cemetery, where his family and friends bid farewell to their loved one. Though the funeral was a private affair, a police perimeter was required to handle the crowd which showed up to join in the mourning of Solo Maxwell, a crowd which has reached well into the thousands. The grief the world feels over this loss has been immense and devastating. For Solo's brother, the grief has proven, perhaps, too much, as Duo could not even manage to stay until the end, leaving early with his bandmate, Heero Yuy.]

Duo was impressed with the quick report. They'd only left the funeral, what, twenty minutes ago? That was the news for you in Haven City. It seemed like everyone knew exactly what everyone else did or was doing. And if they didn't know, they'd make it up.

"Duo, you shouldn't watch these," Hero advised gently, taking the remote from an unprotesting Duo and turning off the television. "Let's go eat something."

"Nah," Duo shook his head. "I'm not hungry, 'Ro. Even if I was, I don't think I can eat yet." He did stand up again, though. "I'm just gonna go to bed. I'm tired. You don't have to stay, 'Ro. Hilde'll be home before I wake up."

Heero looked to Duo piercingly. He came closer, taking Duo's hand. "Are you certain?" he asked softly, placing his forehead against Duo's. "I can stay if you need me. I care about you, Duo."

Duo knew that. Heck, Heero had been in love with him on and off for years, already. Duo loved him back, though he'd always kept Heero at a certain safe distance. Right now, though, Duo didn't want anyone around. "I know, 'Ro," Duo took advantage of the closeness, kissing Heero once, a light touch. "But I just want to be alone for a while, 'kay? I'll be alright."

Heero was quiet for a moment, and Duo knew he was debating on whether or not to push the issue and fight with him. Luckily, Heero decided to just let it be, for now. "If you want it, Duo," he nodded, letting go of Duo's hand. "Is there anything you need help with before I go?"

Duo shook his head. "Thank you, Heero. Really."

Heero send him one last glance as he moved to leave. "I'll see you later, Duo."

Duo nodded and Heero left. Duo watched him until the car was leaving the long driveway, then turned and made his way up the stairs to his room, noticing Solo's wedding pictures in the hall as he passed them. As he entered his messy living space, Duo felt such heaviness on his heart. He sat on his bed, his eyes unfocused as he stared blankly at the floor.

Solo was dead. Yet he was still everywhere Duo looked! Even here, in his private bedroom, Solo's face adorned the walls, plastered on the ShadedViolets posters and artwork. The paparazzi, the media, the pictures and even his own room…. Duo couldn't stop seeing his brother's face everywhere. He couldn't seem to escape it.

Duo wanted to escape, though. He feared he would break down and tear everything and everyone else apart if he couldn't learn to live without Solo. And, right now, Duo didn't know how to do that. As long as he was here, he would never be able to forget, to move on. He had to escape.

Duo had to leave.

The next hour was spent packing a few belongings to take with and some of his stashed cash. Disguising himself as best he could so he wouldn't be recognized, Duo called in a favor from Trevor, a stagehand, and got a ride to the train station, where he swore Trevor to secrecy before buying a one way ticket across the country.

And as the train left Haven station, Duo disabled and disposed of his phone, guilt and relief filling himis up as he left it all behind.

This is the conclusion of the Prologue. Story to follow. I hope everyone enjoyed it. (In a literary sense, if not in an emotional sense) When I wrote this, it felt so real to me. I daresay that Duo was 'in my head'. I also actually put a good effort of research into this for certain things. I hope that it has been a good read, not too boring, not too much. I hope it was good…..

Review or follow if you enjoyed it!


	5. Wolf (Part 1)

**ShadedViolets : One Year Later**

Written By : Sarah Chhan

© 2014

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing in any way, shape, or form. This fanfiction has been written for entertainment purposes only.

Warning: AU, Shounen Ai/Yaoi, Emotional Angst, Trauma, Strong Language, Abuse

* * *

Scene 1 : Wolf

Wolf Graves made his way back to the bar from table twelve, cursing under his breath at the idiocy of the clientele he had to serve. Specifically, the one patron he was nicknaming 'grabby-hands'. It felt like there wasn't an inch of flesh, exposed or clothed, that hadn't been fondled and squeezed by that filthy old man at table twelve. Wolf had only gone to their table three times now, and each time left him feeling more disgusting, covered in the grime and greasy residue of his touch. It didn't matter how many times Wolf stressed to them that he was a server, not a stripper, and that he wasn't available for pleasure, because grabby-hands and his friends just laughed and made more jokes about it. It angered Wolf, as the strippers got paid to be touched, whereas the servers didn't. Wolf wasn't comfortable with being felt up by a dirty stranger who was getting more and more intoxicated, especially since he wasn't making anything from it. Wolf wouldn't deny that he had turned tricks in the past to survive, but he tried his best to stay out of reach of those who came here for pleasure, which was nearly everyone.

Of course, none of this was unusual. Considering he was young and working in a gay club, Wolf had to expect people like grabby-hands to show up almost every time he worked. The fact that his work uniform consisted of skin tight, black leather pants and a bow tie didn't help deter the desires of the patrons, either. Wolf wasn't nearly as buff as the strippers here, but he was young and gorgeous, according to his boss, which made him desirable. It frustrated Wolf some days, as he truly wished he could just work one day without a stranger touching his ass. In the beginning he had mentioned it to the boss, but complaining didn't really matter, as they wouldn't step in. Wolf had to suffer the advances, enduring the harmless fondling, as they saw it. It was considered part of the business of working in a gay club. Wolf needed the job too much to make an issue out of it.

"Wolf!" Garret called him over from the bar.

Wolf finished washing his hands before he rounded the bar and crossed the floor to reach Garret, the rather large owner of this club called Sanctum. He was a heavy set man, well into his years and the pounds, but underneath his bulk was pure muscle. Garret was capable of easily crushing his own bouncers, so it was a genuinely lucky thing that he was also a decent man with a big heart. Despite the inconveniences of his job, Wolf would always appreciate Garret's generosity. He gave Wolf a job, and he was always quick to offer a helping fist to face, if Wolf requested it, of any enemies. Garret had also been very considerate of Wolf's desire to stay a server, and not a stripper.

"What is it, Garret?" Wolf asked, wondering what special task Garret wanted him to do now.

"I have a special request for you, Wolf," Garret grinned, obviously pleased with something. "A client just paid for you, specifically..."

"Garret. I don't want to do tricks, please," Wolf pleaded urgently, fearing his luck with Garret had run out. It always seemed to happen in Wolf's life. A good thing couldn't last.

"Relax, kid," Garret spoke through his grin. "I know. I even told him that, but he says he only wants you to serve the drinks, apparently."

"Really?" Wolf raised an eyebrow in questioning. He didn't believe it for a moment. "How much did he pay for just 'drinks'?"

Garret set a hand on Wolf's shoulder, turning him on the spot. "Just serve the man well, okay?" He nudged Wolf towards the back of the club. "I'll get Brian to cover your tables, an' I'll cut you a tip out of the profit. More if he spends more, got it? He's in the corner booth."

Wolf bit his lip to keep from arguing, reluctantly heading back towards the far booths. The good news was that now he was out of grabby-hands' reach. The bad news was that he was heading to the corner booth, a spot which even the strippers tended to try to avoid. It was the spot which was just out of sight of the bouncers and the bar. Things could happen in that booth and not be seen. Wolf knew this because it had happened before, to a few strippers, and their experiences had been much less than pleasant. Wolf felt rather annoyed by this request for him, as he had this bad feeling now. There were plenty of better looking guys here who would be willing to not only serve drinks, but dance naked on his lap, practically. Why pay for him?

Wolf made his way to the booth, pushing aside the curtain of privacy beads as he stepped into the enclosed space. His eyes landed upon his patron, a young man with a rather long braid of hair hanging over his shoulder and a familiar wide grin. Wolf's eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed in instant suspicion.

"You!" he exhaled in annoyance, declaring the word like it was an insult. He recognized this man. It had started a week ago when he came in and sat at the bar, like any normal patron. He'd ordered a drink and was chatting about random nonsense when he suddenly changed the subject and asked for a date. Wolf had refused, obviously, as no sane server would date a random stranger from a gay bar, especially a gay bar deep in the shades of Cynder City. This hadn't deterred this stranger, though, as he'd returned each night following, always asking for that date, which Wolf always refused.

"You remember me," the man smiled in a certain way, a look of amusement and satisfaction. Wolf didn't like it. He didn't like this man at all, in fact. "I figured you don't have any time to talk, so I thought I'd pay so that you do. Now you have an entire evening free."

Wolf crossed his arms to express his displeasure, in case his scowl wasn't obvious enough.

"Oh, c'mon, it's not gonna hurt ya. I don't bite. Well, not usually. Only when I'm in a certain mood," he continued. Still Wolf glowered at him. He rolled his eyes. "Damn, you're stubborn, aren't ya? Look, your boss is happy, so you aren't gonna get in trouble, and I'm not gonna to do anything to you. I promise! Just have a seat, please. Relax! What's the harm, right?"

"The harm? You are!" Wolf exclaimed. "You're practically stalking me!"

"Aw, don't exaggerate," he shrugged it off. "If I had any friends, they'd tell you I'm harmless." He grinned again.

Wolf didn't like the joke. "I don't even know who you are," he stated.

"Ah, now that's 'cause you don't listen well," he chuckled. "I've introduced myself every night. My name is Duo."

"What kind of name is Duo?" Wolf declared.

"What kind of name is Wolf?" came the reply.

Wolf stared at the smiling Duo for another moment, then exhaled in annoyance, sitting down across from him. He felt frustrated. Duo could be a nice guy, for all Wolf knew, but the fact was that he was wasting Wolf's time. Obviously Duo was interested in Wolf. But he would soon learn that Wolf wasn't interested in return, and would never be. He didn't need the complications of a relationship.

Duo's smile had grown as he sat down. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" Duo pushed one of the two drinks towards him. "Here, this is for you. It's a Shirley Temple, since you're at work." Wolf eyed it warily. "It's just a drink, Wolf. I had your boss bring it to me."

Wolf sipped at the drink once, but he left it at that. Duo observed him the whole time, chuckling as Wolf set it down. "What's so funny?" Wolf asked.

"You are," Duo answered. "You're so stiff and paranoid. You drink it like it's poison."

"Maybe it is," Wolf frowned. "You're obviously crazy. I don't even know you. You stalk me for a week and then pay my boss so I'm forced to spend time with you. I'm paranoid because I don't know what you want. I'm stiff because I'm frustrated I have to sit down at all."

Duo's grin faded as Wolf vented, and he ran a hand through his deep brown bangs. Wolf watched him as silence passed between them. He strangely noted that Duo had such very lovely eyes. They were a deep violet, and shaded by thick dark lashes. Duo was actually a rather handsome man. Not that it changed anything.

Still, at least he was better looking than grabby-hands at table twelve.

"Okay, you have a point," Duo finally spoke. "I may be a bit…overzealous with my efforts. But how else was I supposed to have a conversation with you? When I talked to you at the bar, you barely gave me a glance and two words before you avoided me at all costs. I tried again, and same thing. I had you serving me at a table, and you dodged everything I said. I offered a date and you said no before I had even finished." A pang of guilt began to eat at Wolf as Duo spoke. "You're a stone cold wall, Wolf. Can you blame me for having to try something different to get you here? Even now, you're being stubborn as hell and arguing with me endlessly. All I want is a conversation, Wolf. Is it so bad to want that?"

Wolf didn't answer right away. Then he suddenly spoke, throwing up his hands. "Why do I have to talk to you, though? Maybe I'm busy working. Maybe I'm not interested. Maybe I don't like guys!"

You work at a gay bar," Duo answered dryly. "I felt my chances on that were pretty good." Duo shifted forward. "Look, here's another question to ask yourself….why not? Why not talk to me? I'm a decent guy. I'm nice and funny, and I'm not hurting you at all. Is it such a crime for me to be interested in you?"

"I'm not going to sleep with you," Wolf interjected.

Duo didn't answer right away, instead rubbing at his temples for a moment as he sighed. "Wolf, if I wanted that, I could have spent my three hundred on the strippers," he spoke after a moment, annoyance lacing his tone. "I don't have a hidden motive. You seemed like you were different than the people I usually see around here. I just wanted to talk to you and get to know you a bit more. I didn't realize you were so damn stubborn, though."

Wolf felt a heat rising in his cheeks. He felt slightly ashamed. If he thought about it, Duo was right, and Wolf was the one being a jerk in the situation. Usually the rude characters were the ones he was serving, but Wolf was the guilty party this time. He wasn't being considerate at all. It wouldn't hurt to just sit and do as Duo said. He could talk. It would do no harm.

Besides, Duo said he spend three hundred! Three hundred dollars just so Wolf would be able to sit and talk. No strings attached, so he claimed.

"I'm sorry," Wolf gave in. "I'm being rude. I'm just not used to sitting with the customers." He paid, so Wolf would sit and talk. Maybe then Duo would leave him alone permanently. "I'll talk."

"Great!" Duo's grin returned.

* * *

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS, PLEASE REVIEW & FOLLOW. THANKS FOR READING.


	6. Wolf (Part 2)

**ShadedViolets : One Year Later**

Written By : Sarah Chhan

© 2014

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing in any way, shape, or form. This fanfiction has been written for entertainment purposes only.

Warning: AU, Shounen Ai/Yaoi, Emotional Angst, Trauma, Strong Language, Abuse

Note: This is a revamped version of my previously uploaded story, ShadedViolets, which currently has eight chapters. I will likely be removing that one and posting the rewrites here, as it is going to be completely redone. If you want to avoid spoilers, don't read the original. It will all end up here anyways.

* * *

Scene 2: Wolf (Part 2)

"Great!" Duo's grin returned. "So, do you like working here?"

Wolf shrugged. "It's okay."

"That's good. It's probably awkward with all the drunk and horny men you have to deal with."

Wolf shrugged again. "It's okay. Garret makes sure we don't get hurt."

Duo nodded. "Good man. I did some stripping when I was younger. I was fourteen and I got a job in a club on Madison Ave. It's gone now, turned into a spa that got raided."

"Fourteen?" Wolf asked.

"Yeah. The owner didn't care so much about the age rules. Everyone likes the younger dancers," Duo explained. "I came from the streets here. You do what you can to survive, right? Cynder can be a tough place. You probably know what I mean."

Wolf didn't answer. He did know the hardship Duo was referring to, but he didn't feel the desire to comment. Just because he agreed to talk didn't mean he had to share his life details with Duo. He was, after all, a complete stranger, albeit a persistent one.

"Okay, so….do you like men?" Duo shrugged, bringing his hands up as Wolf looked at him in surprise. "You pointed it out. I don't know, so I'm asking." He downed part of his own blue drink, waiting for Wolf's answer.

Wolf bit his lip to keep from immediately lashing out again. He didn't see why Duo had to bring it up. "I don't date."

"What, like never?" Duo raised his brow. "Have you ever had a date?"

Wolf shifted. "No." He didn't know why he felt so awkward about that. What was so special about dating? Wasting time and money on the rare possibility of true love? It didn't work that way in real life.

"Have you been kissed?" Dup pried, a little grin spreading on his lips.

"That's my business," Wolf felt a heat rising in his chest.

"You haven't!" Duo declared. "You're blushing, Wolf!"

Wolf snapped, scowling. "I have been kissed before, and more. Why is this such a joke to you? Do you have to always make fun?"

"Relax, Wolf," Duo held his hands up again in a peace gesture. "You gotta lighten up and laugh some more. You don't look nearly so cute when you're pissed as when you're smilin'."

"Cute?" Wolf blinked. The strange compliment felt unusual and somewhat startling.

Duo tilted his head, eyeing Wolf with that smile of his. "Yeah, cute. You're actually very cute, Wolf, and not just the average cute, neither."

"Oh," Wolf replayed that compliment in his mind. He'd never had it phrased that way to him before. Usually the only compliments he got were slurs about his ass or package. "Thanks," he said grudgingly.

Duo didn't seem to be at all affected by Wolf's standoffish attitude. It intrigued Wolf a little, but he ignored the feeling. He didn't have time for feelings to interfere. This was a onetime chat for Duo's sake, so he could stop bothering Wolf at work all the time. Wolf would see to that.

"So, do you live close by?" Duo continued with the conversation.

"I'm not telling you where I live," Wolf answered easily.

"Fair enough," Duo nodded, scratching at his head. "Uh, do you have any hobbies?"

Wolf shook his head. "No."

"Oh, c'mon, you barely thought about it," Duo pointed out, insisting. "There has to be something that you like to do. Anything!"

Wolf considered it. After a few moments, he hesitantly mentioned. "Well, I sometimes like to sing."

"Awesome!" Duo declared. "You're a singer. You should sing me something."

"No," Wolf shook his head. "I'm at work."

Duo sighed. "Okay, then what's your favorite color? Mine is black."

"Black isn't a color, it's the absence of light," Wolf replied.

Duo threw up his hands. "Damn, Wolf, you are not that great at this conversation thing."

"I just met you," Wolf defended. "I don't have to share my intimate details about my life with you."

"I'm not asking intimate details, Wolf, I'm asking normal things," Duo clarified, rubbing at his temple again, though he still had half a smile on his face. "It's not that bad to share something with someone. It's easy. Look, I'll start. My favorite color is the absence of light," Duo threw in Wolf's term. "My favorite food is called Mosh Pie, which is something my sister-in-law came up with, and I am twenty seven years old, as of today."

"It's your birthday?" Wolf asked in surprise.

"Yes, but now it's your turn," Duo kept the train of conversation from changing tracks. "Tell me."

Wolf exhaled in resignation. "I guess I like blue, like the sky. My favorite food is soup, and I..." Wolf hesitated before finishing. "I'm nineteen." He had to lie about the last part. Wolf was only seventeen, but if anyone found out, Garret would get fined and Wolf would lose his job. He was lucky enough that Garret had hired him, being only seventeen. When he was here at work, he was automatically nineteen.

"You're younger than I thought," Duo mentioned. Wolf felt like laughing for a moment inside, as his train of thought had just been his even younger age. Duo would surely lose interest if he knew, but Wolf couldn't reveal it. "Do you have any family, Wolf?"

Wolf hesitated again. "I live with family." He wasn't sure how much he could share with Duo. Duo claimed to be a good guy with no motives. But anyone could say that. And anyone could be evil. Wolf had experienced it too often to throw caution away.

"Ah, good. I live alone." Duo's grin faded for a moment as he looked off to the side, his eyes dimming from their usual brightness. He stared, thin lipped, at the wall for a moment before looking back up, the grin back in place. Wolf wondered where the moment of pensiveness had come from. It had been fleeting, but it was there.

"I have two little brothers and a sister," Wolf explained, suddenly wondering what had affected Duo there. He seemed like too much a positive person to have any sorrow in his life.

"Good," Duo answered. His grin seemed to not stretch as wide, and his tone sounded suddenly reserved. What had come over him?

"Do you have family?" Wolf felt the urge to try to keep the conversation going, now. Before he'd wanted to stop, but now he felt odd that Duo wasn't pushing him on.

"I-," Duo began, but cut himself off. After a moment, he continued. "Yeah, I have a sister-in-law. She's got two boys and a girl."

There was a long silence between them. Duo seemed distracted by thought, his mood suddenly changed. He was running his hands through his hair, his eyes unfocused. Wolf wasn't sure what he should do now.

So he broke the silence. "Are you okay?" he asked, unsure what else he could say. Duo had gone from overeager and grinning to reserved and quiet.

Duo looked up, meeting Wolf's stormy grey eyes. He offered a smile. "Yeah, I'm good," he answered. "Just a moment of reminiscing. It's been a while since I've seen my family."

"Oh," Wolf understood his mood change now. "It's your birthday, isn't it?" he asked, suggesting an idea. "Why don't you go spend it with them?"

Duo shook his head. "Can't. I left on a bad note."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Wolf fell silent. He couldn't imagine not being able to go home to his brothers and sister. He could live without his stepfather, easily, but he would miss the kids terribly if he was ever separated from them.

"So, Wolf," Duo piped up. "Since it's my birthday and I'm all by my lonesome, what say you give me the best gift I could ever receive."

Wolf's defensive walls rose again. "Which is?"

"A date!" Dup waved a hand in the air in dramatic gestures. "A real one. A walk through the park , a romantic dinner at a restaurant, and then maybe we could get ice cream on the boardwalk under the moonlight. What do you say? And thing about it before you just say no! You've never been on a date, remember?"

Wolf thought about it. "No," he said after a moment. "But I can give you a slice of cake with a candle on it."

Duo slumped in the booth. "I am defeated."

Wolf watched Duo, noting how absolutely upset he looked. "I don't have the time to date, Duo," Wolf explained, trying to ease the blow. "I'm sorry. You do seem really nice, but I'm too busy for a relationship. I have two jobs. I'm always working, and when I'm not, I have to go home and take care of the kids."

"What about your parents?" Duo inquired.

"I don't-," Wolf paused, rephrasing it. "My stepfather isn't really capable of taking care of them, and we don't have a mother. I'm the only one they have. I can't leave them just to date someone." And a bar patron, at that. Wolf left that part out, though. "I'm sorry, Duo, but I have to ask you to stop bothering me after this. I sat down, I talked. Now I need you to leave me alone. I know you're a nice guy, but I can't have you spending your money on me like this again. I need you to promise me you'll stop and forget about me."

Duo nodded reluctantly, looking disappointed. He exhaled slowly. "I will honor your request, Wolf. But I want to ask if I can make a request of my own?" He sat up in the booth again, waiting until Wolf nodded. "Before I go, Wolf, may I have a kiss?" he asked, then added. "Just a normal kiss, no funny business."

Wolf opened his mouth to instantly say 'no' when something made him hesitate. Duo seemed like a genuinely pleasant guy. He was kind, funny, and caring, if a bit presumptuous and cocky. It was Duo's birthday and he was spending it all alone at a gay club. Wolf had already refused a date, seven times now. What harm could a simple kiss do? It would cheer Duo up immensely, it seemed.

"Fine," Wolf nodded. "You can have one kiss. But that's all!"

Duo fist pumped the air. "Yes!" He stood up eagerly, offering a hand to Wolf. Wolf took it and Duo pulled him to his feet, wrapping an arm around Wolf's waist and drawing him in close. "I've wanted this since I first saw you," Duo breathed softly. Wolf felt a blush rising in his cheeks, his pulse quickening. And then Duo's lips were pressed against his own.

Wolf felt like a shockwave was going through him. He closed his eyes, letting Duo guide the kiss. A hand clasped the back of his neck, holding him close and Wolf didn't fight Duo's grip, letting him deepen the kiss. It was a breathless moment for Wolf, and though it lasted a mere few seconds, it seemed like a lot longer passed by before Duo was pulling back, his sweet taste gone. Wolf felt a tingling sensation spreading through his body. He swallowed with raw emotion as Duo stepped back, a gentle and pure smile on his handsome face.

"Thank you, Wolf," he spoke gratefully. "You've made me a happy man today."

Wolf felt unnerved by his reaction to the kiss. He looked away from Duo, moving to collect the drinks and return to work. "It was nothing," he said, trying to convince both himself and Duo of that. "I'm going back to work now."

Duo nodded. He reached out once more and took Wolf's hand. "A tip for your company," he said before pulling away and leaving the booth. Wolf stared at the wall, his mind burning with the image of Duo's handsome face and enrapturing eyes, while his body burned with the unexpected passion of the kiss.

Finally, he shook off his stupor. It was over now. Duo was gone, and he would no longer be bothering Wolf. He was free of another annoyance. It was a good thing. He didn't need the distraction that Duo so obviously was.

Glancing down at his hand, Wolf now saw the bill that Duo had slipped in his fingers. It was a hundred dollar bill. For the second time that night, Wolf had his breath taken away.

* * *

Please Review or Follow if you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading. Any interest or comments are very welcome.  
To write these last two chapters took about 2 hours on paper and then 2 more hours to transfer to computer and tidy up.

I am glad to see anyone enjoying my work. :)


	7. Desires

**ShadedViolets : One Year Later**

Written By : Sarah Chhan

© 2014

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing in any way, shape, or form. This fanfiction has been written for entertainment purposes only.

Warning: AU, Shounen Ai/Yaoi, Emotional Angst, Trauma, Strong Language, Abuse

Note: This is a revamped version of my previously uploaded story, ShadedViolets, which currently has eight chapters. I will likely be removing that one and posting the rewrites here, as it is going to be completely redone. If you want to avoid spoilers, don't read the original. It will all end up here anyways.

* * *

Scene 3: Desires

Duo Maxwell fell onto his bed with a wide grin on his face. It had been a pretty good night, he felt. Considering the previous parties he'd had to celebrate his birthday, this one wasn't so grand, and it was a bit lonesome, but the short time he'd gotten to talk to Wolf had changed it all around. The kid was young and stubborn and a very long shot, it seemed, for even getting a date, but Duo had experienced such a jolt of excitement when Wolf had finally sat down at his table. He didn't know why he felt such a thrill from Wolf. The kid had his walls up, never letting down his guard the whole time, but Duo still found him endearing.

Duo felt like he was in a dream as he thought of Wolf. Though he was young at nineteen, he was still just too gorgeous to resist. His eyes were a color Duo had never seen before, a brilliant white grey color, like a cloud, and his hair was onyx black and straight, the tips waving past his brow and ears. Wolf was shorter than Duo, but only by a few inches, perhaps. And those tight leather pants he wore revealed plenty to show Duo that Wolf wasn't quite done growing, but he was still well past his adolescent stages. It was a perfect package to attract him.

Duo wondered again why he was so easily attracted to Wolf. It had been over a year since he'd interacted with anyone in a romantic way. Why now, of all times, was he suddenly interested in a young server at a gay club? Duo thought he knew part of it. He liked the way Wolf looked, especially, and he liked the way he was so dismissive and stubborn, yet still apologetic. Duo assumed that his interest had truly begun when Duo had first seen Wolf. At first, it was just the admiration of Wolf's rather sexy look, but when he'd inquired jokingly about the date and Wolf had so directly refused, it had piqued Duo's interest even more. The refusal from Wolf was the real reason for Duo's extreme interest. Wolf was stubborn, but Duo was more so.

After six nights of asking and six direct refusals, each of which got more and more laced with impatience from Wolf, Duo decided to try a different route to get to Wolf. Though it was unconventional, it had worked. True, Duo was three hundred dollars poorer, but it wasn't so bad a hit, and Wolf had ended up actually talking. Though the chat had still ended with a refusal from Wolf, Duo had at least managed to get a willing kiss. And what a good kiss it had been!

Duo recalled the sweet taste of Wolf's lips on his, and the way he had stiffened in Duo's hold at first, only to relax into him soon after. Duo wasn't certain he would be able to leave Wolf alone as he had requested of Duo. The desire to see him again was very strong, even now. Duo was pretty certain he was going to go back to Sanctum tomorrow night and try again. It was just so tempting. Duo had never really felt this way inside about anyone before, except maybe Heero.

Wolf's dark straight hair faded in Duo's mind, replaced by the messy haired image of Heero Yuy. Duo sighed slowly, his mood suddenly jumping from elation to a quiet ache of sorrow. He sat himself up, rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair as his mind suddenly raced with a familiar thought. It was a thought he'd often had but had always rejected immediately. So Duo debated internally. Should he call Heero, or not?

It had been nearly a year. In twenty six days it would be the one year anniversary of the car accident that took Solo's life. A week after that accident, after Solo's funeral, Duo had left, without a word to anyone. He hadn't called or sent mail or made any sort of contact with anyone since that day. Duo didn't know what would happen when he did eventually talk to his friends again, but he felt it was safe to assume they would be mad at him. They had a right to be, anyways.

Heero would surely be furious. When Duo left, he had, in a sense, betrayed Heero's trust.

Well, it was his birthday, so couldn't he give himself a break with the no-contact rule? Didn't he have to go back to them eventually anyways? Or was he going to live alone forever? Maybe. Duo had never really thought about when he would return to his old life and home. He had left because he needed to cope with Solo's death. After nearly a year, the ache was still just as great, and the memories were still painful, and the nightmares were still never ending, but he was better. It was minor, but he was able to survive his days with less breakdowns and less sorrow. The monotony of existence had forced him to move on, though he couldn't move far, yet.

Lately the ache Duo felt for his home was greater than before. He wanted to see Hilde and the kids, and fix cars with Howie again. He missed Quatre's concerts and Trowa's circus performances and even Wufei's boring meditation sessions. But mostly Duo wanted Heero. He wanted his comfortable silence and his bland expressions, and he especially wanted to feel Heero holding him again, sleeping beside him after they made love.

Duo groaned in emotional agony, the turmoil frustrating him. He so desperately wanted to talk to Heero, to just hear his voice, whether he was angry or not.

Annoyed with himself, Duo huffed. "Fuck it," he declared absently to himself. "I'll do it." And he did. He grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and dialed in the phone number that was still easily recalled from memory. It was a number he had long ago memorized and would likely never forget. As he held it to his ear, listening to the ring, Duo found himself unconsciously holding his breath. It rang once, twice, then three times.

Click. (This is Heero Yuy. Who is this?)

Duo exhaled, feeling his chest tighten at the sound of Heero's voice again after so long. That strange feeling of giddiness struck at him, the same as it had when he'd first met Heero and nearly every time after. He hesitated, his mouth suddenly dry. "Heero?" He tested the waters, anxious about the reaction Heero would have.

There was a long moment of silence. Then Heero finally spoke. (Hey, Duo. Happy birthday.)

Duo swallowed, emotion wrenching at him. There was no anger in Heero's voice. It was surprising, and very relieving in the moment. "You remembered," he forced himself to speak.

(How could I forget?) Heero replied, and Duo could just see his smirk, the one where he was being cocky but thought no one knew about it. (I've been there for the last ten years.)

Duo didn't answer, feeling the guilt wash over him again, tearing at him like a hurricane tears apart ships in the sea.

"Yeah," he said, his voice wavering. "You have." Duo tried to breathe evenly as the strange mixture of guilt and longing filled him up. Heero's voice alone was causing a flip-flop feeling in his stomach, an abundance of desire and lust and longing, but the guilt and shame of abandoning Heero was like an anvil weighing him down, too.

How did Heero Yuy still have such an effect on him after nearly a year apart? Duo felt nearly sick from his conflicting feelings. At this moment, he began to regret making the call.

The silence had grown heavy. (Duo, I'm glad you called,) Heero broke it, his voice soft and gentle. (I want you to know I still love you. I don't - ) Click.

He hung up on Heero, cutting him off. A tear streamed down Duo's cheek as Heero's words echoed in his head. After a heavy moment of silence, he groaned loudly. "Fuck, I just don't….damnit, damnit, damnit." Duo tore the battery from his phone, throwing the pieces across the room in frustration at himself. He couldn't handle Heero trying to call back. It all just hurt too much. "Why did I do that?" he asked in his sorrow. Sighing heavily, he threw himself back on his bed, pulling a cover over his head as tears began to silently stream, unbeckoned, down his cheeks.

Once again, Duo wished he wasn't so messed up.

* * *

Thank you for reading! Please review or follow if you enjoyed! I am trying to update every week or two, latest. Thanks!


	8. Stepfather

**ShadedViolets : One Year Later**

Written By : Sarah Chhan

© 2014

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing in any way, shape, or form. This fanfiction has been written for entertainment purposes only.

Warning: AU, Shounen Ai/Yaoi, Emotional Angst, Trauma, Strong Language, Abuse

Note: This is a revamped version of my previously uploaded story, ShadedViolets, which currently has eight chapters. I will likely be removing that one and posting the rewrites here, as it is going to be completely redone. If you want to avoid spoilers, don't read the original. It will all end up here anyways.

* * *

I feel I must mention that this fic is not solely based around my character Wolf. This is a Duo centered fic, but Wolf is a vital part of the plot and has to be a fully developed character to my readers. This is why there has to be a few chapters that focus from his view in the beginning, so please bear with me, and we will have more Gundam Wing character interactions soon.

Also, this is going to be a Heero x Duo fic, but their relationship is not yet defined between them. Heero (obviously) loves Duo, but Duo is hesitant, having a negative opinion on love, and Heero is respectful of that. They've been on and off for ten years before Duo left, so there is lots of history between them. Wolf, however, is a different feeling for Duo. I can't say what will happen yet...

Lastly, I want to explain that Duo is a person who suffers from night terrors, flashbacks, anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. Some were problems from before the crash, others were caused from it. He has an understanding of his mental problems and fights it, but that doesn't eliminate the issues. He also refuses medications, so he is dealing with these problems au naturel. Duo would be the type to have ADHD or such, though he isn't diagnosed, and Solo was the one who kept him 'sane', you could say, for the last ten years.

* * *

Scene 4 : Stepfather

Wolf stepped into the small apartment that his stepfather rented month by month, trying to stay as quiet as possible as he closed the door behind him and locked it. The place was dark and hushed, the silence broken only by the harsh, guttural snoring of Greg. Wolf looked over at his stepfather. The man was lying face down on the couch, his head hanging over the edge. An empty whiskey bottle was still clutched tightly in his hand and beer bottles littered the floor around him. Wolf saw over a dozen tonight. He scowled and shook his head in frustration as he crossed the dark livingroom, passing by Greg.

Wolf reached the door to the second bedroom. He spun the combination lock through the proper sequence, pulling it out of the latch lock. Then he knocked, softly but sharply, in a certain sequence. "It's me, Wolf," he spoke, his voice hushed to avoid waking Greg. The man was a heavy sleeper, yet he seemed to wake up for nothing, sometimes.

There was a moment of silence on the other side of the door, then Wolf heard movement, and a lock clicking back. The door swung open, revealing the sweet smile of Kit, Wolf's little brother. Wolf stepped inside the room and had barely closed the door when Kit latched onto his side in a tight embrace.

"Hey, little brother," Wolf smiled down at the ten year old. Kit was Wolf's blood brother, who shared the dark black hair and grey eyes of their mother. He looked just like a miniature version of Wolf, and he was the strongest light in Wolf's otherwise shadowed life. Just having him near could ease the tension and worry of a long day. Kit's optimism and belief in Wolf was his greatest encouragement, and Wolf knew many times where Kit had been the only reason that Wolf hadn't given up.

"Hi, Wolf," Kit smiled crookedly. His eyes darted to the bag Wolf held in his hand. "You brought something!" He exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. "What is it? What did you get us?"

"Calm down!" Wolf chuckled at his eagerness, glad to see him excited. "I got a good tip at work tonight, so I got us some cake."

"Cake!" Kit grinned wide, taking the bag from Wolf and pulling out the plastic cake box. Wolf had decided to use the gift of money from Duo as a reason to treat everyone. The kids rarely ever got treats, especially cake. Wolf usually only did cake on birthdays, and that was always a challenge to scrape together the extra money from the food jar's meager allowance.

Wolf left Kit to set up the plastic forks and plates, crossing the room to the large king size bed that was crammed wall to wall there. He sat on the end and shook the feet of the other two kids, both sleeping away. "Jai, Eden," he called softly to rouse them.

Jai sat up quickly, his ice blue eyes widening in panic until he recognized Wolf and relaxed, giving him a sleepy smile. Wolf returned the smile and tousled his messy auburn hair. Eden was harder to wake, instead groaning in protest and rolling over to bury herself more in the sheets. It wasn't until Wolf tickled her feet and teased her with a slice of cake that the four year old decided to crawl out of the bed. Her blond curls sprung about her head in a wild halo from sleeping and her blue eyes, a match to Jai's, were only half open as she took her cake. The three dug into their treat with wide smiles.

Jai and Eden were the other two bright lights of Wolf's life. They weren't blood related to Wolf, like Kit was. Greg was the father of all three of the kids, but Jai and Eden's mother was Shilah, Greg's second wife, who had died two years ago in a rather tragic time. Wolf had been their caregivers since they'd all been born, starting when he was just seven, when his mother had died during Kit's birth, and ending with baby girl Eden, as Shilah hadn't been in a good place when her daughter was born.

It was a tough thing, being responsible for three kids when he hadn't even hit his eighteenth birthday, but to Wolf, these kids were his entire life. Nothing else mattered. All Wolf cared about was providing a better life for them, a life that was easier than his own, so far. While he hadn't made progress towards escaping the shades of Cynder City and getting away from Greg, Wolf felt some comfort knowing that he was keeping them clothed, fed, and alive, and teaching them that someone loved them immensely. Even if it was just him, it mattered.

"Do we get to have two slices?" Jai held out his now empty plate with a messy face, grinning widely. There was enough cake to do so, but Wolf hesitated.

"I think one slice is enough sugar for tonight," Wolf shook his head. "I need you to sleep, still." Jai's smile dropped a little, so Wolf offered a compromise. "Tell you what, I'll pack some for your lunch tomorrow, and we should still have enough for dessert again tomorrow night. But you can have one more bite of mine for now." Jai nodded eagerly, accepting this compromise and nearly inhaling the last offered bite. He wouldn't have complained if he hadn't gotten some, either way. All three of them were used to toughing things out and living with very little. Wolf still wanted to see them smiling, though, so he always gave in a little, anyways. It balanced out well.

The kids finished their late treat with chatter and giggles, occasionally being hushed by Wolf when they got too loud. After the treat was consumed by everyone, Wolf took them to wash up, escorting each of the kids quietly past the sleeping form of Greg to the bathroom, then back again. He noted they were running low on shampoo and toothpaste and made a mental note to save some of Duo's tip for purchasing some tomorrow, before he gave the rest to Greg for the rent payment. Then, after a short struggle of his willpower versus their energy levels, Wolf succeeded in getting the three kids tucked back into the bed and sleeping, where he would eventually join them.

But first, a shower, to wash away the usual grime of a night working at Sanctum. Wolf locked up the door again and made his way back to the bathroom, where he gratefully stepped into the stand up shower. The heat of the water was welcoming, relaxing his tense muscles and easing his usual aches and bruises from life. Wolf ended up spending an extra ten minutes under the hot stream before he convinced himself to get out, though he physically didn't want to ever leave the warmth. Stepping out, he toweled himself off well, slipping into his pajama pants. Wolf took a moment in front of the mirror, trying to dry and tame his wild black hair, even though it would just get mussed again from sleeping tonight.

Wolf's thoughts suddenly roamed back to Duo for a moment. Wolf paused in his motions, staring at his lips in the mirror. He could still feel the effects of Duo's kiss. Though Wolf said it was nothing, over and over to himself, he couldn't deny the lasting impression it had given him. It burned in his mind, a hot memory. Wolf didn't know why Duo was so interested, or why the kiss had been so intense, but he wished he could just forget it all, like he could with the rest of the clientele who made advances on him. Wolf was grateful for the tip, but he didn't need emotions fogging things up in his already difficult and complicated life. He had to worry about the kids, and that was a full time job. Wolf needed to be focused, not dreaming of a persistent admirer, whom he didn't even really know. It was nothing, and it was over. Wolf told himself these words and focused on not thinking about it.

But he could still see Duo's grinning face, burning in his mind.

Wolf exhaled, feeling very uncertain at the moment. He opened the bathroom door, letting the cloud of steam pour out into the apartment. Stepping out, Wolf winced as a large hand suddenly closed tightly around his forearm. Looking up, he saw Greg's ominous, grinning face and felt his stomach begin to churn, his heart dropping in minor panic.

"You're finally back, dog," Greg growled out the words. His slowed speech indicated he was still drunk, but the sharp gleam in his dark eyes showed that he was sober enough to know what he was doing. The sleep must have cleared his head, as Wolf never expected Greg to be intelligible after the amount of booze he liked to consume each night. "Shall we have some fun? C'mon, dog!" Greg half turned, pulling on Wolf's arm.

Wolf hesitated, resisting his stepfather's grasp. "Please, Greg, I don't - " Wolf's words were ended by Greg's hand striking him hard across the face. The viscious blow would have knocked Wolf to the ground were it not for Greg's painful grasp on his arm. The man was a head and a half taller than Wolf and twice as heavy. As it was, the blow had black spots dancing in Wolf's vision.

"I said, come!" Greg roared angrily, dragging Wolf behind him. Wolf's head was spinning as he stumbled after Greg, trying to reorient himself. A sharp pull propelled him ahead of Greg into the older man's bedroom, where Wolf stumbled to meet the floor this time.

Wolf pulled himself to his feet, tasting the blood from his split lip as he looked at Greg, who was hastily trying to undo his belt buckle in his drunken state. An ominous, numbing feeling began to spread over Wolf. It was the same feeling he always got with Greg, since the very first time Greg had decided to 'have some fun' with Wolf, many years ago.

Wolf knew what was coming, so he shut himself down, trying to go anywhere else in his mind, to feel anything else, as Greg came towards him, his large hands reaching out...

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Thank you for reading. Please review or follow if you enjoyed.


	9. Dreams

**ShadedViolets : One Year Later**

Written By : Sarah Chhan

© 2014

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing in any way, shape, or form. This fanfiction has been written for entertainment purposes only.

Warning: AU, Shounen Ai/Yaoi, Emotional Angst, Trauma, Strong Language, Abuse

Note: This is a revamped version of my previously uploaded story, ShadedViolets, which currently has eight chapters. I will likely be removing that one and posting the rewrites here, as it is going to be completely redone. If you want to avoid spoilers, don't read the original. It will all end up here anyways.

* * *

Scene 5 : Dreams

"_Hey, kid."_

_Duo looked over at Solo. He paused, staring for a moment. They were sitting on beach chairs, but the sand was black beneath them, and the ocean was white foam, and made no sound. There was a silence consuming them, the kind of silence that could drive people crazy. Birds flew in the sky and grey silhouettes of people played and ran in the white waters, but there was no noise. Only Solo's voice, which echoed. _

"_You're dead," Duo said to Solo, this strange version of him, with the black holes where his eyes should be. Duo noticed his own voice was younger, and so was his body, in the stage of a young boy. Solo was fully grown, though, appearing older than he'd ever been._

"_Yes. I've no blood left," Solo spoke, the echo getting swallowed by the silence. He had a smile that was unnerving to Duo, as though the eyeless sockets weren't frightening enough._

"_What happened to your eyes?" Duo asked in his childlike voice. Oddly, his fear of them was still less than his curiosity. A strange feeling of familiarity was spreading in him, as though he'd done this before._

"_I took them out," Solo answered, matter-of-factly, as though it was a normal thing anyone could do._

"_Oh," Duo said, somehow accepting this as normal also. He turned and looked out at the sea. "Will you swim with me?" He wanted to play, but the white water was so strange and frightening. He was sure there were less grey people now than a moment before. Had the ocean swallowed them?_

"_No," Solo answered. "I'm dead, remember?" _

"_But I can't swim unless you come with me," Duo protested. He stood, taking a few steps in longing towards the water before he stopped, looking back. "Please, come and swim with me! I really want to go!"_

"_Duo, you have to go alone," Solo cocked his head, his strange smile still plastered across his pale face.  
"You know how to swim. Just do it."_

"_But what if it takes me?" Duo argued, his fear showing on his face. "What if the ocean swallows me up?"_

"_It won't," Solo answered confidently. His black sockets pierced into Duo as he stared. "You can't stay here forever, Duo. I'm dead, remember? You have to swim alone now."_

"_No!" Duo shouted in protest, stamping a foot down on the black sand. "Why do I have to? I can stay with you," Duo walked back to the chair, sitting down stubbornly. "I don't want to swim alone."_

"_But then you'll never swim again," Solo countered. "I'm dead, remember?"_

* * *

"No!" Duo jolted upright in his bed, gasping for breath as his heart raced in his chest. Trembles tore through him like spasms, and he was soaked in sweat. His eyes darted around, the image of Solo fading into his familiar bedroom walls as he reoriented himself.

"Damnit!" Duo swore out loud, kicking off his sheets. Standing, he ran his hands through his mussed hair and made his way into the kitchen, seeking some caffeine. Curse words slipped from his lips in a steady stream as he replayed his dream, the images fresh. Duo had experienced the dream before, on the black beach with the white water, and had seen Solo many times, but it still scared him immensely when he woke up each time. Sometimes he remembered what happened in the dreams, and sometimes he didn't, but it was always eyeless, bloodless Solo. Duo didn't know why he dreamt Solo that way.

Duo could never seem to sleep now. Insomnia was a part of life, ever since Solo's death. Duo couldn't sleep again after the dreams, either. It was a cruel cycle, but Duo had managed to adjust himself to it, mostly. It took its toll on him, though, causing stressful moods like his current one.

Duo made his coffee and sat at his table, staring into the cup. Since he was awake, he began to think again. His thoughts would go from subject to subject, causing reactions of different sorts inside. Duo had always been a rapid thinker, and had the tendency to act before thinking. He couldn't seem to stop himself from reacting to everything. Since his young years, he'd been the hotheaded one, the rough tempered lunatic with a wild mouth. He'd tried to be more graceful, more mannerly, more reserved, but it proved near impossible, so he'd had to learn to just embrace himself as he was.

The problem was that he was a difficult human being, even to himself. Solo had often lamented on Duo's impulsiveness, and his mood swings.

Solo. The charismatic, civilized brother. He was just as rough around the edges as Duo was, but Solo knew how to control it better. That wild side from his youth was well tamed, unlike Duo. Solo had gone from a thieving brat-pack gang leader to the leader of a platinum earning band and had done amazingly well. No drugs, no wild side. Just work and focus and family. He was an example of humility in the world of celebrities, and not even the paparazzi could find wrong with him when he was alive.

That control had been Duo's lifeline. Duo had been Solo's shadow since he was six or so, and Solo had been the one who guarded over Duo. Duo felt sick without his presence, without his advice and his scolding and his nagging and his jokes and….

Duo inhaled sharply, finding himself going down a very emotional train of thought. Abandoning thoughts of Solo quickly, Duo found himself debating again upon going back home, to Haven City. He missed everyone. But the longing was mixed with fear of their anger. Duo considered his current situation, wondering again why he had left. But the answer came to him easily, like always.

Duo had left because Solo was dead. Not having Solo meant Duo had to live his life alone. And Duo didn't know if he could do it. He foresaw the difficulty of this last year and he couldn't bring his friends with him down that dark path. Duo hadn't wanted to go, but more so, he hadn't wanted them to see how hollow he was without Solo. They were likely to suffer by his pain.

Duo still had moments of breakdowns. It wasn't as bad as his first few months, when he would continuously hallucinate and see Solo's spirit with him as he traveled from motel to motel, breaking into violent mood swings randomly, but just the other week he had broken his bathroom mirror with his fist, after a long and rather good month.

Duo's brain made a random connection, distracting his thought to another. The day he broke the mirror was the same day he first saw Wolf and asked him out. Wolf hadn't even given the bandages on his hand a second look that day, same as for Duo. Duo wondered again why he felt such a rush when he was near Wolf. He was a rather cute one, but he was more so an interesting character. Good looks were nothing if the inner self was corrupted. Wolf seemed a genuine person. He was honest and acted real. He expressed himself. He was definitely way too polite.

Duo found himself grinning at his coffee. Surprised by his sudden mood change, Duo mused over Wolf pleasantly before he made the decision to return to Sanctum tonight, despite Wolf's request to back off. Duo wasn't going to bother him, openly, but maybe he could get a table that Wolf served. He could always talk to that owner, Garret. The man had seemed civilized enough for a bar owner in the shades of Cynder City, and had been quite pleased at the three hundred dollar request last night. He would likely be willing to aid Duo.

The pleasure at making a scheme was thrilling. Though Duo slept little, he found himself energized and ready to go as dawn came and the world began to move in routine once again.

First things first, he needed a new phone.

* * *

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